Jordan
In the immortal words of Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, HELLO THERE!!!! If you are reading this then I can only assume that you are bored out of your mind and started the terror of terrors; the dreaded doom scroll. If you’re not doom scrolling then I still assume that you’re bored and found this blog. “Pickle the Beast”? “A Varsity Has-Been?!” What in the actual BLEEP is that? Well, I am glad you asked but before I tell you about this blog and how my writing partner came to be the Varsity Has-Beens, I feel I’m obligated to dish out a personal narrative. Just like back in Middle and High school. So… Allow myself to introduce… er… Myself.
Before I became a Has-Been, back before I thought I was a writer, I came into this world kicking and screaming. Anyway, my name is Jordan. Some may know me as Jordan, Jordy, Big Jordy, J-ONE. I am from a small Mayberry- Esque town in Western Kentucky. The county of Muhlenberg is my home. Country born and country bred. Not really, because I don’t even have an accent. My town is the type of town where old money is still a thing, everyone knows everyone, and we attempt to be as laid back as possible.
The best way to describe me is a nerdy jock. I love nerd things; comics, tech, history, Sci-Fi etc…I love music. My eclectic musical tastes can range from Beethoven to 2Pac. Post Malone to Marvin Gaye. 90s/2000s music to the Motown movement. From The Cupid Shuffle to the Electric slide. Randy Travis to Luke Combs. I absolutely love music. I usually listen to something while getting ready for work, cleaning, and vibe setting. I literally cannot go a day without listening to something.
I am a lover of nostalgic things. As an Elder Millennial who recently turned the Big 4-0, I am sucker for nostalgic moments. Especially during the 90’s/2000s era. That was the era of my childhood turning into young adulthood. I am full of useless knowledge so much that I often think that I am on the spectrum. The useless knowledge part of my brain allows me to retain fact from 90s and 2000s, movie, music, book, toy, historical events (as I am typing this, I am getting real fed up with experiencing a daily historical event! My 90s kid anxiety and depression and being an elder millennial can only take so much) and sports facts. Speaking of sports….
I… LOVE… SPORTS!!!!
I come from a sports family. My parents, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins all played organized sports. So naturally, so did I. I played the big three, Basketball, Baseball, and Football. I am only 5’11 and weighed at the time, 280 pounds. I wasn’t going to be a basketball star, and my throwing arm isn’t the best, so you can guess which sport I excelled at. I love football! Like, borderline obsessed. When I played, I thought the fact that I could hit people and not get into any trouble. In fact, the bigger the hit, the bigger the praise. Unfortunately, a serious shoulder injury my freshman year of high school derailed my dreams and aspirations of going to play football in college, and go to the NFL to become the next Reggie White. Football has given me Good, Bad, and Ugly moments. Yet, I still go back to it. I am a huge Baltimore Ravens fan a huge Atlanta Braves and BoSox fan and love college sports.
I am also a practicing martial artist. I recently earn my 2nd degree black belt in Chung do Kwan Taekwondo. I have also dabbled in Muay Thai and Brazilian Ju Jitsu. Martial arts not only made me a better person, but it has also saved my life from a mental health standpoint. I can honestly say that at times, I can be lost without martial arts.
College sports. As I previously mentioned, I am from Kentucky. In the state of Kentucky, Basketball is king. Sure, in some parts of the state Football is a big deal but basketball wears the metaphoric crown. Basketball is so big in this state that two of the biggest colleges in the state causes frictions from friends to families. You are either a University of Louisville Cardinal or you are a University of Kentucky Wildcat. I was lucky enough to be born a Kentucky Wildcats despite having Louisville in my family that outnumber 70 to 30 and graduating from Western Kentucky University (Hilltoppers, I consider myself a HillCat.) I BLEED BLUE and am not afraid to let y’all know!
Muhlenberg County is known for its rich tradition in high school basketball. So, when I say we take basketball seriously I stand on business. Our teams have won multiple district and regional championships as well as making many appearances at the Kentucky state tournaments. We hang banners and win titles!
NOW… Enough about me, lets introduce the Varsity Has-Beens. The Varsity Has-Beens consists of myself, Jordan H, along with my writing partner, a bad influence when it comes to inappropriate humor, the fantasy football savant, 6 foot 8 of real deal and sex appeal, one of the biggest dorks I have ever met, one of my best friends, and someone that I consider a brother, Jordan S. Now, that was not typo. We are both named Jordan. My mother always told me that she named me Jordan because he liked the name Jordan. However, Jordan S. was born in ’84 and I was born in ’85. Around that time, another JORDAN was making waves in the NBA. The same Jordan that makes my feet look good on special occasions
Jordan S. and I are from the same county where he was a standout basketball player for the Muhlenberg North Stars. I was a Muhlenberg South Sun so since he was a rival, it was conditioned in my head to hate him. And I did, Soley for the fact of him having that North on the front of his jersey. Truth be told, I didn’t know him from Adam. It wasn’t until adulthood that we got to know each other. We had a mutual friend, so we knew each other. As fate would have it, we began working at the same vocational school as recreation specialist. I thought this dude only knew about basketball. Not only was I wrong on my assessment! He was an avid sports lover, movie lover, and music lover. What started out as strangers, blossomed into brotherhood. It has been mentioned that we often share one brain. It’s more like we share one brain cell. As you continue this blog journey with use, you will see why this statement stands true.
Why the Pickle the Beast blog?
Why not? Jordan S. and I love talking about nonsense. Whether its currents events, past events, mental health issues, ranking certain things (Like movies, tv shows, movie sport heroes, etc. We also love meeting new people. I have the gift of gab and never meet a stranger. Jordan S. is the same. We both hope this blog will help us connect with like-minded individuals. Especially those who are around our age because I know you can relate to the daily millennial struggle. We both look forward in seeing how far this thing will go. We will try out best to make things as PG13 as possibly, but we have been known to slip up from time to time. 🙂
We will be as real, raw, and transparent as possible. So, strap in an enjoy the ride. Welcome to the show! Welcome to Pickle with the Beast!!